How to Break Up in a Way That Deepens Love and Honors the Relationship (Our Story) {Video}

Nat and Bob Ocean

Painful breakups. We’ve all had them. The relationships that went down in flames. Anger, disappointment, deep sadness, so many things left unsaid, and so much love left unacknowledged.

If you have experienced this you may also be familiar with the feeling of regret that the love, growth, and good times you shared were not able to be honored, that they got stuffed down underneath layers and layers of hurt. You may be familiar with the feeling of not being able to look back fondly on a past relationship, even if you want to.

Our joint mission is to heal people’s hearts and create more open, loving communication in relationships all around the world. We know that the most powerful way we can do this is by modeling what we preach.

You may or may not know that we (Natalie and Bob) have been a couple for the past year and a half, building an incredible life together. Living together, creating this podcast together, growing a successful sex and relationship coaching business together, taking care of our cat-babies together…

It’s been a blessing in so many ways, and like any other couple we have also come face to face with challenges and our own respective wounding within the relationship. Over time, and through processing and healing together, we’ve realized that some of these challenges are not ones we’re able to grow through within our romantic relationship at this point in time.

We would affectionately call them ‘little BIG things’ that were preventing us from having the kind of relationship we wanted. And this is the case with a lot of relationships we have seen … there are so many things that are great, and yet, there are fundamental things that are not working or don’t align. It is scary and hard to think that letting go is what is needed, yet in order for all parties to get freed up to truly have what they want, letting go is crucial.

With that, we decided to come to completion in our relationship (the romantic, build a life with each other piece). As painful as it has been to come to this place, we know it is right for each of us. There is freedom and expansion in the decision as we transition to the next chapter for us (business partners and friends).

A few weeks after the decision, we spent it together ‘transition’ traveling, which was so good to have as we brought a lot of love and intention and healing into the separation.

On our second to last day together we spent the day at the beach on a gorgeous hike and did a completion ritual for our relationship.

On our last day together we filmed this video.

It was a beautiful and powerful way to honor, heal, and love each other through the transition. We were clear that we wanted to do different in this breakup. We wanted to love each other as much, if not more so, during our transition.

In the video we talk about a few things:

  • What we’re doing
  • Why we’re doing it
  • How we’re able to have such a loving transition in the midst of such intense emotional challenges
  • What’s next (Spoiler alert, one of them is MORE Sex the Podcast episodes!!)

Please watch the video below as we share our story with you. It is a half hour video but worth the watch, we let you in with lots of vulnerability, transparency and honesty.


AND if you are curious about what we did for our completion/closing ritual, please contact us here. We will send you a PDF with a step by step guide to completing with your current (or even previous) partner in an intentional and loving way.

Oh, and we love you. Yes, you.

About Sex the Podcast

Natalie Vartanian and Bob Schwenkler are business partners, friends, and creators of Sex the Podcast. They believe that you get to have all the mind blowing, time stopping, universe expanding sex that you want. Exactly how you want to have it. Sex the Podcast is an exploration and owning of our deepest desires. Click here to learn more about Natalie and Bob.

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